penis helmet

Mexico has its limits

So I'm doing research on Mexico. Specifically, how one would go about doing business there. In my studies I found a list of prohibited and restricted imports. Most of them make sense, I mean theres opium and marijuana and even turtle skins and eggs. But near the bottom of the list I found one of the most dangerous imports of all:

- Pre packed decals in color or black and white formats whether or not containing candies or chewing gum that include drawings, figures, illustrations that denigrate children or incite to violence or self-destruction or other anti-social behavior, known as "Garbage Pail Kids".

You read right. Apparently Mexican children are driven into a rage when they see illustrations of kids picking their nose or farting.

I used to love those cards, but then look how I turned out. Ahh Eerie Eric, how I've modeled my life after you.

(no subject)

im going home tomorrow!

i lost 38 bucks gambling on a boat on the mississippi!

I ate taco pizza (real pizza, not that one you get from taco bell)

Asian lady bugs are INVADING IOWA!!!! and not in a cute, loveable, i-want-to-dress-my-guineapig-in-a-ladybug-suit way either.

my pants smell like farm!

I smoked my family at hearts tonight.

My mom bought $120+ worth of carmels from the monestary monks.

You know how my parents are awesome? well it comes from thier parents...i really wish i could have grown up around them =(

but i also miss all of you, so im coming back tomorrow!
  • Current Music
    like i said, no music here =/
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5 whole pounds!

thats right, thats how much weight ive gained in the past... 4 days? All i do is eat and sleep here, and i mean it is the greatest thing to do on vacation and all, but im ready to come back. There is one less ferret here than im used to too. So saturday my grandma had a party here at the house and the turnout was about 30 people, 20 of those were family... yeah, i have a huge family aparently but you'd never know it cause you've never seen them... after the party (which involved eating, eating, and oh yeah, more eating) I napped, for like 3 hours, then ate some dinner, then did a little studying, then went back to sleep.

In the morning we went to church (everyone here is automatically assumed to be catholic) and promptly afterwards we came home and ate leftovers from the party. my mom left to go meet up with some old highschool friends and grandpa took me to a lawnmower auction. Turns out lawnmower auctions are HUGE here cause everyone in town went to it. We couldnt even see the mowers they were auctioning through the crouds of flannel shirts, beards and trucker hats. After a few minutes we decided to leave and i got to drive grandpas pickup truck... the greatest thing about that car is he rigged it so you dont even need a key to start it. just turn the starter and you're off! then we went home and ate, then napped, then jan and jim, my moms friends from wisconsin who came to visit us a few months ago stopped by and had dessert with us, then ate dinner with us, then had more dessert with us. and now they're gone and im about to get some sleep before breakfast. oh, and after breakfast we're going on a 4+hour tour of the steamboat museum... im sure well have time during the tour to eat though, dont you worry.
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    full full

Iowa fest continues!

oh man, im so drunk.

you shouldl all know when i say that that this entry will probably be deleted but oh well... here goes.

today i slept for another 11 hours because, ehy, its iowa and i can sleep that long and get away with it. then i studied a bit and went out on the atv with grandpa to try and fix the bulldozer but after a few tries we gave up and came home.... what a boring story! then we got ready and went to my grandmothers birthday party, it was good except the food kinda sucked... oh well... then i went out with my cousins chris, emily, and mike and we all went to a few bars and drank, cept for emiliy cause she was driving... then i realized that iowa is full of white people and they are still allowed to smoke in bars... then we played some shuffledboard which i ahvent played since my senior grad night and i totally killed my cousins at it but yeah.... now im at home and realized that there really is nothing to do in iowa, and i miss my friends, and i cant wait to get back and get my pilots license. oh well, i can wait a few days...

guess there really wasnt anything embarassing to talk about this post... oh well, maybe next time.
  • Current Mood
    drunk drunk
penis helmet

Iowafest 2k4

My adventure thus far:

got home from my first cross country night flight at about 11 and ate some sushi my parents had left for me. yum. then i took the next 7 hours getting ready for my trip/whoreing myself out on the webcam.

Then it was off to the airport and on to a lenthly trip to Iowa. Note: getting the window seat can totally be pointless when your window is looking at nothing but a wing the whole trip. can't they just stick those wings ABOVE the windows even if its only to please the 4 people who sit next to them?

Grandparents picked us up and my Grandfather drove us home. P.S. My grandpa is one of those CRAZY old people who almost got us killed 25623423423 times because he always pulls out/makes left turns regardless if there's cars coming or not. So after my several heartattacks we arrived and had pizza and i crashed hard on the couch.

11 hours later i woke up at what would have been 5 in the morning if i was still in my cozy bed in the heart of silicon valley. but instead it was 7 and time for breakfast. p.s. my phone knows when its in another time zone making it smart meaning next on its agenda must be KILLING ME cause i am of lower intelligence. breakfast came and went and my grandparents took my mom to the city to meet up with her sister and do boring things. so instead of go with them i decided to study/watch the MXC all day marathon on my grandparents new satallite TV(living on a farm isnt starting to sound nearly as bad). that was fun for about 3 hours but then my grandparents got back home and grandpa invited me to go 4wheelin on his little ATV. I have to admit even I have my MXC limits so i had to give in to the urge and cruise around the country side for a few hours. Among my adventures out on the country side: meeting a dog out of NOWHERE who decided he wanted a ride, so i gave him a ride...then he grew tired of my lack of knowledge of the terrain and went to play in the mud. Then i met another dog who was just as friendly but only wanted to chase me while i rode around trying to get un-lost. Soon my experience from my many many hours of wolfenstein actually helped me in the real world when i followed the fence and found my way back. I also realized its IMPOSSIBLE to get lost out there but hey, i managed to do it anyway.

After my outdoor adventure we all went to my aunts and had dinner and we went to this boring seminar on staying healthy and controlling stress. (i was supposed to ditch them and see a movie with my cousins but they canceled last minute cause one was sick or something...) and now im back at my grandparents and getting my sweet sweet fix of the internet.

In other news my friend at work text messaged me (yeah, i get some coverage out here) and informed me that Rose, one of the secretary helpers was let go because there's not enough work for her. There's not enough work for me either but im hoping i can still slip by... i still need this job for at least another 8 months =/ Eh, ill worry about that when i get back... right now its time for some more MXC before bed.
  • Current Mood
    cheerful cheerful
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(no subject)

I'm off to see Dawn of the Dead for the third time tonight... im a zombie lovin FIEND.

Anyway, due to recent events, the coolest person I've ever met is now Matt.

I've been really bad at work this week. I don't think ive actually done any real's all been studying my aviation books and planning cross country flights. I really wish i could just take this month off work to prepare myself for my test.

So i got a NEW new phone last night to replace that crap NEC i had for about a week. Don't buy NEC.

see how boring my updates are? this is why ive stopped updating.

Once again, someones first impressions were that i was gay the other happens so much now it really doesnt bother me anymore. Or maybe im just saying that cause she's hot.

After watching Human Nature last night i think its safe to say Eternal Sunshine is Charlie Kaufmans least eccentric work to date. and my favorite. P.S. Human Nature was really good by itself too. Of course how could any movie where mice use utensils to eat be bad?

Has anyone who reads this used a firearm before? Apparently i need to go to the shooting range with someone who has before i can go by myself/with other inexperienced friends. ill pay for you =)

oh hey, i just asked my friend kiem at work who was in the marines and he said hell go, haha, nevermind!
  • Current Music
    KSCU dj talking about.... who knows what.
penis helmet

Online-Dating Tips (stolen from The Onion)

More people are using computers to find that special someone. Here are some tips to help make your online-dating experience safe and fun:

-Under no circumstance should you give someone you meet online a lot of personal information. You could place yourself in the dangerous position of having a date who knows what a loser you are.

-When considering the serious step of marriage, it's good form to seek the approval of the message-board moderator.

-Online dating services provide an easy way for recently divorced singles to meet new and interesting people. It's too bad your ex-wife got to keep the computer.

-When you write your online classified ad, be sure to make explicit the fact that a sense of humor is very important to you.

-Set yourself apart by choosing a descriptive user-name like SocialRetard342, CuteFaceFatAss, or RohypnolLarry.

-If you're having a hard time finding a decent, commitment-minded man through e-dating, why don't you try to e-shut the fuck up for once and stop your e-bitching.

-Don't just tell women what they want to hear. Type it in all caps.

-Remember, online dating is not for everyone—only the desperate and pathetic.

-Dates like to know that they're appreciated. Go the extra mile and send that special someone an e-card or virtual flowers.

-For best results, try whichever dating service happens to be advertised to the right or left of this chart.

-If you decide to break up with your online mate, for God's sake, have the decency to do it over the phone.

-If you're a man who prefers younger women, but you only seem to get responses from older women, take heart: Older women can give birth to younger women.

-When getting together for the first time, arrange to meet online dates in an open, public place. That way, you can use binoculars to check them out from the car beforehand.

-Don't worry. If you actually meet someone decent over the Internet, the two of you can tell people you met at a party.

(no subject)

I know its been a while since i last posted. And I'd like to say i have something interesting to post about but the truth is the only thing i have going though my head recently is this flying business. My flight instuctor, Rune, told me I'll probably be taking my private certificate rating test in april and if i pass, that'll mean im a real pilot. So perhaps now you can see why thats all i can think about at the i appologize if ive been neglecting any of you lately.

im really really excited.
  • Current Music
    Stone Temple Pilots - (um, i forgot the name)